By Dana Randolph
We all have our bad days in marriage, and it's normal for couples to not agree on a lot of things. We can get so caught up in our bad days to the point where it begins to shift our focus and mindset. We begin to look at everything our spouse has done wrong. We tend to look more at the ugly side of things. We start to form a habit of allowing our thoughts to be brought to life through communication.
Directly or indirectly, we say things under our breath. The more we think on the negative the more negative things gradually come out. It becomes a snowball effect that pours over into how we handle our spouse. We tend to complain about everything that's not going right. We fuss and complain constantly placing our spouse into a corner.
The worst thing we can do is put our spouse in a position where they feel backed into a corner. We should never want our spouse to feel as if they can't do anything right. Once we get to a place where we have used our mouth as a weapon and allowed those bullets to hit our spouse, the damage is done. The good news is it can be corrected if both husband and wife desire for things to get better.
I get it, I have had those bad days. I was once in a place where I focused more on the problem than the solution. I would get upset over things and hang onto them. It was when I came across the scripture regarding arguing and complaining that it hit me. I've been going about this wrong.
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blamelesss and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky, as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain".
Indeed, I was going about it wrong. I needed results, not more fuel added to the fire. I needed things to work out and be resolved. The only way to get the outcome I was looking for was to take my thoughts captive and begin to speak the things I desired to happen. Instead of speaking under my breath in the negative, I began to speak quietly in prayer. Speaking out bible versus and thanking God for a great outcome. I also spoke affirmations over myself and my marriage.
It's amazing that when you change your thought process, you can change your life. When you speak life over your situation rather than death, the outcome can be a positive one. When we begin to place our thoughts on positive things, we then transition our mind along with the words we allow to come out of our mouth.
No marriage is perfect, we all have our faults and flaws. We all go through some kind of storm. It's how we handle ourselves in the midst of those storms that matter most.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof".